I have been having trouble
sleeping. I get a few hours of night and then do the one thing I shouldn’t to
get through the next day. I need at least one (preferably large) caffeinated
beverage to help not be a total crank. I am not sure if it even helps manage
that. The reasons for the sleeplessness are the pregnancy, racing thoughts of
what I want to do in near and far future, and lastly the weird pregnancy
dreams.
I believe the baby is super
active all the time. It’s worse at night! I dream that she is kicking me. Also,
I am a back and stomach sleeper. I am still sleeping on my stomach most of the
night. I always start on my side but manage to flip myself over. It is getting
slightly uncomfortable and that’s when I dream/feel the baby’s kicks the most.
Jacob’s birthday is coming up and
I am trying to think of ways to surprise him. I think I have the perfect gift
in mind and at night the details are replayed over and over in mind. It feels
like a broken record. I am hoping once I share my ideas with another person
than it won’t keep me awake. I am also constantly thinking of what I need and
want to do. Usually I am so tired during the day that I find it hard to
accomplish some of the simplest tasks which are frustrating to say the least.
Lastly, my newest reoccurring
(did I mention crazy) pregnancy dream is of Jacob cheating on me (HA, like he
has the time). I read that dreams that involve cheating during pregnancy are
related to the feeling or experience of being cheated out of something. I
really really feel cheated that I can’t eat my favorite sushi rolls so maybe
that’s where the dream manifests itself from. Jacob and I got a few cooked
rolls the other week for date night and I really wished that we could have
ordered something not cooked. But I was still grateful we could order what we
did. I couldn’t imagine not eating any sushi for a whole nine months.
This particular dream also
conjures up other stuff for me and I have been hearing that little voice slyly
ask, “What’s wrong with you? ” a little too loudly. I know that is the anxiety
talking of not being in control of the future and the significant new changes
coming our way. I know what the voice is implying is wrong. Still it has the
power to bring me to a dark place that I haven’t visited in a long time where I
feel hopeless, confused, and not worthy. Although, when I get there I am
reminded how far I have come and how much trust I have put in God for the
things I can’t control. It brings me back to feeling joy about the new things
Jacob and I will be experiencing and I forget about the voice for a while.
On the hand, Jacob’s dreams are
of the protective nature. He dreamt that he punched a guy for touching my
shoulder. I know who to call if you’re in a bar fight. On a serious note, I
find his protectiveness enduring and know that I may have competition as a
protective parent.
Happy Dreaming!
What is your
craziest dream?